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still alive(unfortunately)

got my tat..still fat....still ugly







Galactic Butterfly Galactic Butterfly

This symbol is called the Galactic Butterfly which is said to represent all of the consciousness that has ever existed in this galaxy. This is all of our physical ancestors both human, animal, reptile, fish, shell fish, plants as well as the consciousness which organized all of the raw material from a whirling disk into stars then planets and solar systems. Big Meaning. So big that the original Maya had no symbol for this. In their civilization it was like having no name for God. Just knowing the concept was good enough. Later this pattern was devised by Toltec or Zapatec weavers as a pattern for blankets and this is where Jose Arguelles came across it. He called it Hunab Ku. The indigenous peoples call it "The Galactic Butterfly". Butterflies are seen as ancestors returning for a visit to physicality. Wearing one of these symbols is very powerful as it broadcasts your reaching to actively join the consciousness of our galaxy.



galactic butterfly

Tomorrow is going to be a fun day. I'm off work so there will be no temptation to binge. Its also pay day. I'm going to my friends tattoo shop called Forever. My friend is an amazing artist, and I can't believe I've gone this long without him working on me. I'm getting a piece called the galactic butterfly.
The Galactic Butterfly which is said to represent all of the consciousness that has ever existed in this galaxy. This is all of our physical ancestors both human, animal, reptile, fish, shell fish, plants as well as the consciousness which organized all of the raw material from a whirling disk into stars then planets and solar systems. Big Meaning. So big that the original Maya had no symbol for this. In their civilization it was like having no name for God. Just knowing the concept was good enough. Later this pattern was devised by Toltec or Zapatec weavers as a pattern for blankets and this is where Jose Arguelles came across it. He called it Hunab Ku. The indigenous peoples call it "The Galactic Butterfly". Butterflies are seen as ancestors returning for a visit to physicality. Wearing one of these symbols is very powerful as it broadcasts your reaching to actively join the consciousness of our galaxy.
I will post a  pic of the symbol. My tattoo will be a lil different though because my friend actually turned it into a butterfly. I will also post a pic after I get my tattoo done . This will be my third one.
Oh and another plus is that my boy friend also works there, and I soooo don't get to spend enough time with him <3

Day 1.

wish me luck with my diet yall.....oh my gaga i want to drop this weight fast ! for breakfast i'm having a zone bar =180 cal and 22 g carb and two huge glass of water.....(edit) I had a piece of texas toast for lunch=70 cal, and tomato sandwich for diner..=200 cal.....intake=450 calories.  I feel good...drained and tired but good....fixing to go for a walk and do 200 crunches.

Let's get this started

Well, I need to go to bed asap, because I have to get up in four hours and get ready for work. I slave away at this place called Zaxbys. Its a horrid place where I surround my food, and people stuffing their faces...It is especially nasty, because I'm a vegetarian, and it's a chicken joint. When I get up I'm starting my diet. I can't stand my body now...It's time for chance. I have nothing planed today after work so it should be a simple day...work, clean house, and chill....Good Night LJ <3







Koi Fish Koi Fish

A Japanese legend said that if a Koi climb the fall successfully at the Dragon Gate on the Yellow River, it will transform itself in to a dragon. Koi fish tattoos symbolize strength, courage, determination over obstacles, and ambition for achieving high goals. The koi climb the waterfall bravely, and if they are caught, they face their death on the cutting board bravely, like samurai



STATS and other info

Height: 5'3
Current Weight: 190 lbs
Highest Weight: 200 lbs
Lowest Weight: 110 lbs
Goal Weight: 130 lbs

I've had an ED since I 16. I'm a chronic binge eater, and I have pretty much lost control of my body. I haven't purged in over a year and a half, and I need to get a hold of myself again. I have NEVER been this big in my entire life. I feel ugly and disgusting. I have always been alone in my battle with the bulged, because I've never know anyone who understands or has an ED. I'm looking for friends and support. I need people to talk to, and I more than willing to listen myself. So, here's to a new and improved me, and new friends.

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ugliduckie
ugliduckie

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